


Shattered Hope

by SapphyreLily



Series: Different Sun, Same Land [9]
Category: Guild Wars 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mentions of Character Death, it's just a little sad thing, oh spoilers for ls4ep5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-11-02 01:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20579384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphyreLily/pseuds/SapphyreLily
Summary: In the aftermath of Aurene's sacrifice, the Commander is not as brave as everyone thinks she is.





	Shattered Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Major, MAJOR spoilers for LS4 ep5, in case the summary didn't already give it away!
> 
> Also yeah, I was just sad and this happened. I wrote this almost right after I played the episode? I swear, I was so sad that I stopped playing gw2 for 4 months.

_My name is Murasaki Hikyuu._

_I am eight years old, the Commander of… Nothing. _Something,_ perhaps, once the Pact, now nothing. Dragon’s Watch? Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know anymore._

Murasaki takes a deep breath, pushes her nose into her plushie and starts again.

<strike>She ignores the tears that form, the shudder in her breath as she takes in the familiar scent.</strike>

_My name is Murasaki Hikyuu._

_I am eight years old. I will be strong. I will not cry._

_I have cried enough._

_I have cried _enough_._

_My chosen last name means ‘tears of sorrow’, and that will have to be enough. _I _will have to be enough._

_Others need me. My broken guild and the remnants of the Pact need me. _

_I cannot cry. I _will not_._

_My tears can come later, when Kralkatorrik is gone. When he has paid for Aurene. When he has paid for all that everyone has lost._

She bites her lip, presses her lips to the soft, worn surface of the doll and heaves in a shuddering breath. Ignores the heat in her eyes.

She doesn’t want to think the words into existence, but they drift in anyway, a vague recollection, a faded memory.

_I don’t deserve to cry. I’ve lost everything that matters, but others have lost more, and they need the reassurance more than I do._

_ <strike>Aeris, I miss you.</strike> _

_What will I tell Star? He loved Aurene as I did._

Her fingers grip the doll, sinking into its plush body too easily. Murasaki eases her grip and smooths out the indentations, a wobbly smile forming.

“Sorry,” she whispers, though it cannot hear her. Cannot respond to her. “Sorry.”

She doesn’t know who she’s saying it to – the doll? Herself? The brother that she failed? Aurene? The Pact soldiers? Dragon’s Watch? _Tyria?_ – or if it is a plea to any remaining entities who have the power to help – because she certainly doesn’t have any left. If she had any power at all.

She is the dragonslayer, god-killer, supposedly the Commander of hope and peace for a better future.

A future that was impaled on Brand crystals in her defence. A future now lost.

She repeats herself, tears welling up again. The water blurs her vision, and she closes her eyes, letting the plushie absorb those that fall.

“I’m so sorry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it's really short, practically microfiction.


End file.
